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Mutual Masturbation;

Far be it from there being anything wrong with a little self-love, yet the one-handed tango might be even better if it's turned into a dance for two. Who cares that, technically, this is a contradiction? Be that as it may, whether there's willingness to reach out and touch ~~fate~~ each other or this is a strictly hands-off experience and communication can only be verbal for moral, personal, or technical purposes (hey, there are a lot of folks with powers that mean no touching out there), the two of you are indulging in some mutual masturbation. Over the phone, in person, silently, with lots of dirty talk, go nuts!

~~This totally doesn't count as sex, right?~~

You know what to do.
Do it.

Mutual

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